If no one else is going to say it...

I'm just going to put it out there. It was beautiful and all, but Jennifer Lawrence's Oscar dress looked kind of like a very pale pink vagina.

Just.

Saying.

SheWolves and HeWolves: a gendered sweater debacle

I have a friend named Jon Silver, and he owns a remarkable wolf sweater. As a prank - albeit, not a very creative one - I contrived with my friend Anna and some friends of his to apprehend this sweater and get as many people as possible in our law school class to wear it. We take great solace in small pleasures in law school.

Jon's friend Stefan was first to show off the sweater. He looked truly dashing. I grabbed it from him the next day. The difference in response to our respective donning of the trademark Jon Silver apparel was remarkable.

Stefan, who I will grant is a little more reserved and low profile than I am in the class, received little harassment. A couple of people in the immediate area asked if he and Jon had had a slumber party, pondered who would be the big spoon, and moved on. The facebook reaction was similarly muted - a comment that Stefan was a mere imposter was probably the most heated of the luke warm commentary.

I mean, that may not seem like a mild-mannered thumbs up, but trust me, he's a reserved guy.

When I donned the sweater the next day, however, the tone of the dialogue changed. As did the venue. While Stefan was teased mostly to his face and a little bit on the comments section of his facebook picture, the questioning of why I had Jon Silver's sweater was conducted in the class' facebook group. For those unfamiliar with "facebook," that is the groups that sends an alert to every member whenever anyone posts something. So even uninterested parties, so long as they were in our class and in the facebook group, read the inquiry "Ok I'm just going to go ahead and ask...Sydney Robyn, isn't that John [sic] Silver's shirt? LOL It getting passed around now?"

The asking of the question wasn't necessarily groundless: it was certainly fair for there to be some curiosity. That was the point, really. And the question wasn't itself suggestive (though this individual didn't ask me about the sweater - he called me out in front of the class). The comments that accrued, before I had even noticed the initial post, took on a staggering amount of innuendo, however. For your unadulterated perusal:

 As the astute Caroline Alexa noted, no one insinuated that Jon had slept with Stefan. Weird, right?

I do not want to give the impression that I am brooding over this - I really like all the people involved, and I assume that this went in the direction it did under the belief that I can take a joke. I do not want to betray that impression - I LOVE comedy. It's the best. Who's on first? Exactly! etc, etc.

I was, however, struck that highly educated, socially aware individuals, (mostly) unbeknownst to themselves, engaged in exactly the sort of dialogue that illustrates why women are not taken seriously in jobs of equal standing compared with their male co-workers. Why women make less money than men. Still. For equal work. Why there is still the widespread belief that many sexual assault accusations are groundless and stemming from a woman's regret. A pervasive notion of women as sexual beings whose interactions with men are always, first and foremost, sexual. None of the men engaged in this dialogue are ok with any of these pervasive realities. But the tone set by these comments appears to condone it nonetheless. It is for exactly this reason we need to be aware of what realities comedy points to. Not to mention, how much funnier would this whole thing have been if it had been directed at Stefan, and not me? SO much funnier.

Jon Silver is a babe, but I just want to wear his sweatshirt. And so do all these people!

So I guess what I'm saying is that anyone can wear a wolf sweater, guys.
Let's keep sex jokes to private facebook threads.

Oh, and the Revolution. It's coming.

Devoted

I received the most interesting compliment today.

Despite of, or probably in response to, my rather ardent (and apparently off-putting) feminist values, an acquaintance of mine commented, "Sydney, you're going to be the best and most traditional housewife and mother. I can already see it."

I shrugged and rolled my eyes. I don't particularly plan on having children, but that's not really a discussion or debate to involve other people in, so I just let the comment slide as a bit of good spirited teasing.

Later that day, when I mentioned how hilarious I thought the comment was, he clarified;

"I don't actually think that you will or will not have kids or anything. I just get the impression from you that you're a very devoted person. That once you love someone, a friend or a guy, that you would be wholly devoted to them."

I thought that was a staggering thought. Devoted.

I cannot remember the last time I received such a phenomenal compliment. It nearly left me in tears. I could not be happier to think that anyone could walk away from fleeting encounters with such an impression.

 "Loyalty and devotion lead to bravery. Bravery leads to the spirit of self-sacrifice. The spirit of self-sacrifice creates trust in the power of love." - Morihei Ueshiba