Receiving the news of my friends Aly and Baker's engagement in September, and finally receiving the actual wedding invitation in the mail a month or so ago, served as a brusk confrontation with my looming status as
adult. You may
recall.
Hearing about friends getting engaged births all kinds of contradictory emotions in me. I'm surprised: my utter lack of marriable qualifications (boyfriend, job, parent-free residence) just leaves me operating under the assumption that no one my age is considering marital bliss as a viable life choice - at least not right now.
Then I swiftly realize that everyone is not me, and that this is fabulous news - I'm ecstatic that my friends have found someone they love and respect and can spend their lives with.
I'm super jealous that they don't have to date anymore. They never have to hear their grandmother lament how she would like to see all of her grandchildren married before she dies, so what is wrong with you and your brother? Cough.
I'm a little scared of what it potentially means for our friendship: the plot of many crappy rom-coms features the incompatibility of married friends with single friends. Half go out clubbing and on shitty blind dates while the other half stay at home perfecting their ossu bucco recipe and watching
Castle on the sectional. Is that going to be me and my friends??? I hope not. I don't think I'm friends with anyone who would watch
Castle. Only my parents watch
Castle.
And, I'll admit it, selfishly, hearing about friends getting married makes me feel like crap about myself. Just for a second. I realize how far away I am in my life to anything like that. I've always been a bit ahead of the pack for my age - when I was in grade one I read at a third grade reading level, and damn it, I was young for my grade. I don't really take well this feeling of emotional and social stuntedness. Like I'm getting lapped by Bowser in Mariocart. This feeling is amplified, I've had the misfortune to find out, when you hear former boyfriends are getting married. I usually rouse myself out of this ridiculous ennui fairly swiftly. Since, you know, I have a cat to cuddle and bars to go to. And because my life is really not so bad.
So, this is to say, it's kind of emotionally exhausting to hear about friends getting married. And since the first of my friends announced their intention to wear a white dress/suit and kiss in front of a bunch of us, I have had three more friends get engaged. One has already been married.
So, dudes, can you please stop proposing. Ladies, don't be feminists and do it yourselves. Just for a couple months, so I can settle into law school a little more stress free? Thanks.
Amendment: Sydney would like to encourage women to be feminists. Just not women proposing to boyfriends. Just for a couple of months please.
