The Short Hair Debate

It is that time of year again. No, I don't mean autumn. And no, my midterms just passed actually. It is the time of year when I realize I have put no effort into a Halloween costume and it's right around the corner, yes, but that is also not what I am talking about. It is that unanticipated and entirely unpredictable time of year, coming approximately twice per annum, that I am in the throes of an insatiable desire to cut off all my hair.

No, not G.I. Jane style. I don't think white girls can get away with that in every day life, certainly not without prompting questions about what cancer society you were fundraising for and how much your femininity earned them. This time around (because, as I say, I fight this urge every few months) I find myself adoring Miley Cyrus' cropped cut. It's so versatile - it can be edgy and modern, or subdued and classic. A friend of mine even suggested that if I do it, do it all the way and go blonde. That one is probably not in the cards

Whether or not this particular cut would suite me is beside the point, however. It is less this particular cut that I crave, than simply short hair itself. However, I have found myself torn by other considerations.

First, and deplorable as I find this to be in myself, I am very concerned about what people would think if I were to have short hair.

I should say, short hair again. I wore my hair in a pixie cut for well over a year, almost four years ago now. The growing out process has been taking place ever since, and has included all sorts of eccentric behaviour to encourage long and healthy locks, including, but not limited to, taking a weird American hair-thinning supplement, the box of which warned that the contents may contain traces of shark. So, given those endeavours, I find myself trying to remember why I decided to grow my hair back out at all.

I have friends who rave about my short locks. Some friends even tell me things like "you have such a good face for short hair," which really just feed my ego unnecessarily. I may cut my hair just so that people will compliment my face. But I also love what having short hair says about a woman. To me it says that she is not concerned with traditional notions of femininity and sex appeal; she's self confident, stylish and modern. And I like to think that those are all things I see in myself. But, while I gaze at model shots like the one of myself on the boat there, I know that, in reality, a lot of my life with short hair resembled:

I'm the one on the right, just to be clear.

Less appealing. But, altogether I put more effort into my appearance, I justify to myself. I could avoid looking like a boy! I will not ever again try to grow in my eye brows! So when I find myself trying to justify cutting my hair, even when confronted with truly unflattering pictures of my beloved pixie, I realize that how I think I look with short hair is really not what gives me pause. What bothers me is the opinions of ignorant people.

I know that sounds truly ridiculous. Why would anyone care about the opinion of ignorant people? Because I have friends who, in this regard, are ignorant people. To be clear, I do not for one second assume that everyone who tells me that they like my hair better long is saying so because their opinion comes from a place of anti-feminist woman-shaming. That is totally a legitimate opinion, and one that I must at least in part share - if I thought I looked like crap with long hair, I hope I would not leave it long just because I put the time in. Like eating an entire plate of food you ordered even though you aren't hungry, because goddamnit it's there. But, there are people who I love and respect who, nonetheless, have very entrenched and traditional notions of femininity. Men and women. And I just hate to imagine facing people for the first time since the cut, knowing some would commence trash talking my new "butch" style the moment I exited the vicinity. Short hair automatically excludes you from the ranks of beautiful people in the minds of a lot of men and some women. I have a hard time convincing myself that I don't care about that.

However, and more alarmingly, do I perhaps need to consider how short hair could impact my career? Would a young and edgy hairstyle read as immature and unapproachable to an interviewer from a more conservative law firm? Is it possible that looking as common, or at least as uncontroversial, as possible will be the safest avenue to help ensure future employment? Law hasn't been unaffected by the recession, and new lawyers are having to fight hard for jobs like everyone else.When I hear about articles advocating and explaining why female lawyers should be wearing skirts or just generally how high the standard of professional appearance (I say euphemistically) is for female lawyers, I realize that these are factors I probably need to consider. Could cutting my hair be a career killer?

When I asked my mum what she thought about me cutting my hair she immediately began listing advantages of long hair, citing the time I had put into growing it, how versatile it was now, and the like. It was as though I had proposed the idea of dropping out, or moving to Nebraska - my mum's speech made it seem as though it was her motherly imperative to dissuade me from this simply foolish course of action. When she realized that these arguments were seeming to have the opposite of their intended affect - as strongly felt parental opinions are wont to do -  just short of actually making me promise, she pleaded with me to wait to cut my hair until I come home for Christmas, telling me that she would call my hairdresser once we were off the phone to make me an appointment for the day after my plane lands. I think she's hoping that this fever for Farrow-length locks will abate by then. And maybe it will. But there's something about that possibility that makes me a little sad.

Maybe I'll just start smoking like Mia Farrow instead. I mean, look how cool she looks. And that sort of live-fast-die-young attitude seems entirely consistent with what I hear of the alcoholism and cocaine habits that run rampant in the legal profession.

But short hair? That's probably pushing it...