The Wildly Obscure Halloween Costume, Well Executed

There are a number of ways that you would be able to deduce that I went to a liberal arts school. I have been known to espouse the virtues of the oxford comma. I tuck my pants into my socks. Just this week I made a bell hooks joke. But I feel that at no time is my socially-crippling liberal arts background as cogent as it is at Halloween.

The rest of the year I can avoid engaging in debates about the relevancy of Hegelian historical theory, or restrain myself from suggesting we move to a political system that honours a philosopher king, but at Halloween my desire for a witty and unique costume makes these engrained ticks unavoidable. I will wear a wildly obscure costume, well executed.

This became evident in just my second year of liberal arts education. Two friends and I, based on a ludicrous rant about over zealous leftists, went as communist cats.

Chat Guevara, Chairman Meow and Fidel Catro, here to empower the proletariat and look just adorable. Now gimme candy.

This was well received at my university. We were all stars! The wittiest! This costume, in its absurd specificity, was topped only by my friend Geoff, who one year went as a Beatle in a box. I think he was Ringo. Wittgenstein joke - get it? No? Congrats - you're a normal, well socialized individual. I'm jealous.  This sort of reception, of course, set a very unrealistic standard for my young malleable mind; I was left with the impression that this sort of vaulted humour would enshrine me in social scenarios as the charming and hilarious heroine, here to turn life into an HBO comedy. Notsomuch.

I have endeavoured since then to make my costumes related more directly to pop culture icons. You know, something to avoid coming off as an ivory-tower elitist. A costume relatable to the every-man! The self realization of my Chat Guevara facade, as it were. However, liberal arts has clearly gone so far as to taint my mind as to what exactly qualifies as an icon.

My point? My Halloween costume:

Robert Palmer Addicted to Love Band Member! Duh. My mum and dad and 38-year-old former colleague Shannon got it. And Heather (the lovely little kitten in the middle, who, incidentally, went as  Kim Kierkegaardashian this year. "My wild hair, black ensemble, popped blazer collar and general ruffled and mournful demeanour are the Kierkegaard elements. My fake lashes and amazing ass are the Kim Kardashian"). That exhausts the list.

But, seriously, this is not a bad likeness. But familiarity with the original is a prerequisite to appreciating a likeness, and this costume just did not have a large enough fan base for that. But check it out!


The curse of the upper middle class dedication to meaningful, not pragmatic, education rears its ugly head every Halloween. I'm just a misunderstood victim of circumstance, really.

Next year I should probably just be a Spice Girl.